Loneliness

 

Sitting in a corner, he watched the play, as the curtain closes, a presenter walks out from the dark stage, only to say "boy if you don't join, I'll devour you and only the vestiges of your being will remain", with a fixed look on him, driven by fear, he joins the play, still a poor actor.

Make up for your lack of acting with your innocence, make up for your faults to go unnoticed, melt into the crowd, the announcer is waiting for you to fall to devour you to consume every last bit of soul.

He left the play, I can't stand it, he couldn't resist, it was inevitable, he's not a good actor, and even so he tried, it hurt, he suffered, he came out.

"I told you that if you went out I would devour you", "Why did you do it? Do you want to die? Do you want to suffer? The driver covers everything with his perpetual darkness.

Within this dull darkness, as black as the emptiness of the cosmos, like a black hole, light does not exist, he in the abyss, feels peace, and thinks "My suffering and agony are over, I could have tried harder, lied to myself more, pretended more, but everything ends in the same place, even if I try, everything ends here, because I am He and he is me", looking at the dark void, he can feel the voice of the speaker, "we have always been and will be a child". "I already know that, I know that..., I realized while I was living like them (the actors), that I am different, strange to them, happy for my existence" he answers the announcer, while closing in on himself like a baby, "I don't want to get out of here, I want you to consume me, I want my soul to be just vestiges of light in the cosmos, but that they don't hurt me anymore, I don't want to suffer anymore."

"Child, you still don't understand, do you? the curtain of the world and your world, because more than a wish is just that, I am you and you are me, and we both know that we cannot". The announcer tells the boy as the winds within the darkness begin to blow.

"You told me that you would consume me", the boy supports his head with his knees. "Yes it will consume you until leaving the vestiges of your soul, but I will not kill you, you will do that, but you will continue to live, if you die I die, I am the one who will leave your world in black, but it is only a wish" the speaker returns to disappear into the dark.

"How, because, if it's his wish and I'm allowing him to fulfill it" the child crying in a fetal position, he just wants to disappear, but it's a wish.

Inside the dark and cold void, where everything and nothing is the same, where feelings and sensations are nothing, just pain, suffering and the desire to burn everything.

"Child he can't, because he is you and you are him, do you still not understand that he suffers like you? That was an empty threat, for fear of not being" a soft and warm voice emerges from the darkest gloom.

"He lies to himself, how you lie to yourself, he suffers what you suffer, that's why he wants to see the world and your world as he feels it."

"Why are you here? Only he and I can be in this disturbing darkness", "You still don't know? It's you and you are me, don't you know who I am?", the soft voice like velvet whispers. "There is no way, that you understand it, child, but we are you and we will be you until the last drop of life is no longer in you."

The boy with his eyes full of tears provokes a rejection full of pain and despair, something incomprehensible inexpressible in words, only in the ways that the soul understands.

"We are the dual, we are you and we are, we have desires but they are only desires, nothing more" the voice begins to get closer.

"I'm not interested, nothing you say to me will make me go back to the play, they're just actors, nothing is real" the boy, believing he was finding out the correct answer, responded to the voice, between sobs, words full of sorrow. "For them it's real, they don't know, and you still don't know" the voice responds closer and closer.

Don't you love? Don't you live? enlightened with the divine grace of being accepted, but you are not willing to suffer for it" the voice behind the boy's back shines a warm white light. "Don't you know who I am?", "If it's me and I'm you, you're..." The boy stops crying.

"What did you come for, this is his wish, he is now mine and he knows it" the presenter appears full of anger in front of the snow-white light. "You know we can't keep it, you already know why we are both..." The voice is interrupted, "I don't care, you don't see what I see and you don't want what I want, you are always beyond, where the pain doesn't arrive" the irate speaker starts an argument.

"Vast!!" The boy exclaims as he stands up and begins to change back into a youth. "That's enough presenter and you, it's time to put things in order, because you are me and i'm you, your wishes are mine as my wishes are yours, my suffering is mine and yours, my life is your life" the young man emerges, showing a look of nothing.

"Thank you darkness (presenter) for showing me my pain and my mistakes, my suffering, you are me and you represent the darkest place of my being, which one day I will be able to navigate without fear of falling again" the stunned presenter only remains petrified in front of him of the young man, while crying.

"Thank you encourage, my moon that you showed me the way to exist again" the moon with diamond tears outlines a smile.

"Both are my dual, both are part of the whole, both know my desires and my sorrows, both exist from the primordial of my existence, both are one with the whole of my life and will continue to be there, for me and for you, but it is time for them to return to me and take their forms" with an expression on his face, the young man extends his hand towards his presenter and encourages him, saying only what the soul hears beyond words, they smile for being accepted again. "Thank you both for taking care of me and protecting me from this world, which corrodes everything and everyone"

Anima and darkness return to the depths of his being, to contemplate what his existence prepares for him.

"I no longer have that fear, I can now see more clearly that I am strange, but I like to be like that, I am going to suffer, that is for sure, but I am going to find a way to be happy, and make those who matter to me happy, and they who are me and I am they will always be in me, because they are my dual, I am a dual being"

The young man emerges from the gloom to start living again without acting.